Jokes

*JUDGE:WHY did U Shoot Ur Wife instead of shooting her LOVER?MAN:Ur Honour, it's Easier 2 Shoot a WOMAN once,than ----SHOOTING a Man Every Month.

*The parents were very disappointed in the grades that their son brought home. "The only consolation I can find in these awful grades," lamented the father, "is that I know he never cheated during his exams."

*Girl: "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."
Mother: "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?"
Girl: "My homework."

*"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then, mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

*Teacher: "Suppose there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?"
Boy: "None."
Teacher: "None? You don't know your arithmetic!"
Boy: "Teacher, you don't know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!"

*"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then, mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."